Just a few hours ago, I lost my beloved aunt 二姑. When I heard the news, I was first in shock, then I sobbed and grieved. I really miss her. I was sad and so emotional. Doreen and Jacob were very understanding. Jacob knew that I like candle, he brought me a scented candle and asked me if I would like to light it up so that I could feel better. I think it is a good idea. I lighted it up to remember 2 Gu.
Then a lot of sweet memories of her flashed through my mind.
I spent a big chunk of my childhood in a fishing village (KK) growing up. As far as I could remember, 2 Gu was always there helping out the family business. She was my dad's first lieutenant working in the front line while my mom works in the back line. She was always strong and capable of lifting up 100 of pounds of fish to the scale all by herself. She was tough and fearless when it came to protect the business territory. She always stood solid on her ground on this man-dominated business.
2 Gu once told me in tears. My dad was the only son in the family. Before grandma died, her biggest regret was that my dad does not have brother(s). Grandma was worried about my dad being bullied. 2 Gu said she (along with all the sisters) promised grandma to stand beside my dad and fight if she needed to. And she did fulfilled her promise. In the past 39 years of my life, I witnessed 2 Gu's determination to stand firm on her promise.
Although she was tough as seen by many, she was a very lovely aunt to me. I don't recall her scolding me, not even once. She was an old fashioned aunt and never hug me. She loved me but I never knew that. Until when I was 13 years old, when I had a surgery and was recovering in the hospital ward, she suddenly came to the ward. As soon as she saw me, she held my hands and cried. She was so caring for me. From that moment on, I knew down in my heart, 2 Gu loved me.
In 1997 summer, after completing my 3rd year engineering program, I spent 2 months in the fishing village together with my parents and 2 Gu. It was my best summer ever. I had a great time with them while helping them selling fish. That summer, I came to know 2 Gu's birthday was on Aug 8. On that day, I secretly sneaked out and bought her a birthday cake. She was so happy like a little girl when we sang birthday song to her. Since then, I called her almost every year on her birthday.
One of the most silly thing I've ever done in my life was to bring Doreen to meet my parents, only a few hours after she agreed to be my girlfriend. It was right after we spent our romantic moment in the lighthouse, when my mom asked us to join them for the dinner. When we arrived, we unexpectedly to see all of our relatives from the village were on the big table. Of course, 2 Gu was one of them too. :-)
In the Chinese culture, wedding is considered a joining of two families. When Doreen and I decided to get married, both of our families need to get involved. On the day of the marriage proposal (提亲), it was 2 Gu and my mom represented the groom family to present the "grand gift" to the bride family. That symbolized the two families officially acknowledge the marriage and give their blessing.
When we announced the news to her that Doreen conceived with Jacob, she was so happy. When Jacob was born, she bought Jacob a gold baby ankle as a blessing. She was so delighted and I could feel her emotion when we told her we are expecting baby John last October.
Her passing definitely marked one of the lowest points of my life. However, as I started to recall all the great times I had with her, I am so grateful to have 2 Gu in my life. She was a true blessing to me.
2 Gu, I love you forever. I will miss you. You mean a lot to me. I will miss the moment when I said "I love you" to you in the phone, and you always responded "I love you" back to me. Thank you for loving me.
Jan 27, 2015
Kian Goh
From Ottawa, Canada
